My Pisiform-Triquetral Travails

So, there I was on a Thursday evening (October 5th for those of you who give a rat's patootie), just pluggin’ away at my work. I work that enviable second shift that no human being in his right mind ever wants to work (noon to nine) and by this time, I’m by myself. As I’m typing, this little fruit fly thingy starts buzzing around the keys. Not a huge distraction, mind you, but it was enough of an annoyance that I knew I needed to get it out of my face.

I'm into like Minute #5 of this "fly harassment" and I’m basically waiting for the little bugger to fly away from the keys, but close enough to the unobstructed part of my desk so that I can swat him and move on with my life.

Then, I see my opportunity! It’s gotta be quick, so my hand comes slamming down and, just like that, the fly flies no more.

But the impact hurt the lower part of my hand quite a lot more than I had anticipated, so I inspected my hand..... and then I see it. I don’t know how it got there, but just prior to my fly assault, there had been a push-pin wedged between the lower left corner of the keyboard and that gel wrist-rest thingy that I use to avoid carpal tunnel syndrome and all that fun stuff.

I could hardly believe my eyes, but the push-pin was lodged in my hand!

Yes, LODGED IN MY FREAKIN’ HAND!

Right where the pinky-side edge of my lower right hand meets the wrist. SCORE! Oh, but the fun didn’t end there, no, no. I went to the sink, figuring, “Alright, this might bleed a bit when I pull the pin out, so I should probably have some anti-bacterial soap and a band-aid ready.”

Then I get my second little fun surprise.

I go to pull the push-pin out…. but I can’t because it’s stuck! Being the genius that I am, I not only managed to pull a quasi-Johnny Knoxville Jackass maneuver by turning my hand into a pin cushion, but I also managed to get the point of the push-pin lodged into the freakin’ BONE!

A subsequent Google image search and a quick peek at a skeletal hand diagram revealed that I gave either my pisiform or my triquetrum a new hole it wasn’t expecting. I’m no anatomy or physiology expert, but my money’s on the former, simply because it's looks like it's much closer to the skin and the pin wasn't long enough to have gotten all that far into triquetrum territory.

So, it appears that I won the battle, but the fly won the war. Or is it the other way around? Hard to say. I can just imagine that little fruit fly, buzzing around the push-pin thinking,

“I should be safe here unless he’s a complete frickin’ moron and decides to…… OH SH*T!!”

If this fly could say one word to me post-mortem, he’d probably catch his breath from laughing, just long enough to say, “Dumbass!” before floating away to the “fly afterlife” or wherever the heck they go when morons like myself squish them.

Either way, I’m guessing the need to stick myself with another sharp object will manifest itself when I go for my tetanus shot.

So, I’m hoping that was my “What the f**k were you thinking?” moment of the week. I can’t imagine topping that… at least not before Sunday.