The Dumbass Media

Not long ago, I was walking through the lobby of the Marriott (a short-cut that I sometimes take to get to the office building in which I work) and I saw that CNN was running a report on how intelligence officials believed Osama Bin Laden was hiding somewhere in the mountains of China. Bear in mind, he wasn’t captured, but they believed this was where he was holed up.

Well, that’s great and, as an American, I certainly hope he’s caught and brought to justice, but seriously.... what are the odds of us ever catching this bastard if the damn media keep tipping the world off whenever we think we’re close. I mean, sure, it’s a great story to tell, but the bigger scoop would be if we actually had him in custody, wouldn’t it? So, why do the media continuously tip off the enemy whenever we get close?

And it’s not just this latest Bin Laden update, either. It’s everything related to the war on terror and terrorism in general. Do you know how many times I’ve picked up a newspaper and seen ridiculous headlines like, “Boston Unprepared for Potential Terrorist Attack”, “Ninety-Eight Percent of Americans Wouldn’t Know What to Do in the Event of a Terrorist Attack”, “Airports Across America Relax Security Measures” or “Reservoirs Unguarded – Open to Terrorist Attack”? If I didn’t know any better, I’d say that these journalists were trying to give terrorists tips on what to hit to beef up their newspapers.

I mean, hell, why don’t they come right out and print what they’re really trying so eloquently to convey? “Hey, Terrorists! Now would be a good time for more of those swell kamikaze plane suicide bombings…. Oh, and don’t forget to nail our water supply and our subways! And, hey, do you have any viruses that you can release into the city to cause a widespread pandemic?”

Seriously, what the f**k is wrong with these people?

With all of the tipping off that the media does, I’m actually amazed that we still managed to catch Saddam Hussein or bomb all hell out of al-Zarqawi. Then again, did you happen to notice that nobody heard sh*t about any leads or tip-offs in the days leading up to those two pivotal events? There's a reason for that. We actually wanted to catch and/or kill these ass-clowns. So there ya go.

Clearly, the media can’t understand that national security should take precedence over a “big scoop,” so just keep them the hell out of the Pentagon or the White House long enough for us to net some more big fish. After all, the “fish” we want to catch will never get caught if they know what waters we’re fishing or what bait we’re using. <")))><