Waltham High School Lamentations

I recently received an Evite to attend my fifteen year reunion for Waltham High School..... and I nearly stumbled over in shock.

Fifteen years? How? That’s like just under half of my lifetime ago!

Well, I’m definitely going, partly because I didn’t bother with my five year reunion (...not much changed in five years) and partly because I don’t even think we had a ten year one. So, I dusted the cobwebs off of my 1992 High School yearbook and perused the pages a bit. It was then that I realized something rather unsettling.

I really didn’t do jack sh*t at this school!

I mean, sure… I went to Waltham High for the full four, got decent grades, went to my prom and graduated, but I never really made my mark there. A cursory and depressing look at my yearbook confirmed all of that. Now, I know what you might be thinking.

“He graduated in 1992, it’s 2007 and he’s just now figuring this out… after fifteen years?”

Well, yes and no.

See, I’ve looked at this yearbook before, but I just kinda glossed over the sports and recreation sections because I already knew I wasn’t in there. In the past, I’d look at the few pictures of me that were in there and maybe check out some of the babes of yore, whilst wondering what it would have been like to date some of them. Here’s where my picture appears:

1.) Student Portraits

2.) Homeroom Picture

3.) In-Class Picture

And we’re done.

The first two are a given. Every student had to have a portrait taken even if he/she had no intention of buying any prints… and every student who was in class the day they took the homeroom pictures made it to the yearbook.

The only noteworthy picture was the third one of me in some class (...might have been Social Studies or English). Somebody basically came into our class, asked for the seniors in that class to raise their hands and, bam, I got my picture taken.

The funny thing was that this random class shot only made it to the album because I raised $25.00 for the yearbook fund. For $25.00, you got a quarter of a page in black and white and students were encouraged to hit up businesses for this money in exchange for a small ad printed on your picture. I went to my Star Market manager at the time and she gave me the donation I needed. The yearbook had that one random class picture of me on hand, so there ya go.

If not for those three shots, an outsider would never know that I even attended Waltham High School. I’ll be honest. The only times I showed anything that could be construed as school spirit was when I went to the Hawks’ football rallies and frankly, I only had two reasons why I went to any of those.

1.) They were held during what would have ordinarily been school hours.

2.) They had cheerleaders.

Beyond that, I could have given a rat’s ass whether we won or lost.... and given my current love of football, that's hard to believe. Point of fact is that, in my senior year, the Waltham Hawks had an undefeated season. I can only imagine how much more I would have been into our high school football games if I brought my adult mentality with me.

So yeah, I knew that because I didn’t play football for the Hawks, I’d never be a chick magnet. I’d never have any cute girls cheering my name, never get my locker decorated by anybody and never have any heroic moments on the field. And so, with every viewing of my yearbook, I always skipped over the football section... as well as the basketball and hockey sections.

The fact that each of those sports had their own cheerleading teams didn’t help, either.

Then to make matters worse, there was the swim teams, soccer, volleyball, golf, cross country, indoor track, skiing, wrestling, lacrosse, tennis, softball, baseball and track teams to ignore as well. I was only vaguely aware of the existence of some of those disciplines at our school, but golf?

We had a f**king golf team, folks!

I haven’t even started with the arts yet. Oh, we had string orchestra, jazz band, wind ensemble, marching band, jazz choir, show choir and chorus… and I couldn’t carry a tune to save my life, so those options were out. Sure, I might be able to play guitar now, but back then I wouldn't have had a prayer with getting into any of those music clubs.

Then there were the miscellaneous activities. I could have actually been a part of some of these, but here again, the very existence of many of these events didn’t hit home for me until after I graduated. I was just really, really out of the loop with these activities. It appears that one of the biggest of these events was homecoming week which included a bonfire. Sure, it looked like great fun on these pages, but I spent the majority of the time during morning announcements daydreaming, so again, I missed out.

And I got nobody else to blame but myself.

We also apparently had an academic decathlon. Now, I was a smart student, but I wasn’t “nerd” smart. An old acquaintance from back in the day (A.J. Hallock) was like two years younger than me, but obviously destined for a lifetime of intense cerebral flexing.

And he definitely looked the part, too.

Thick, curly blond hair, buckteeth, thick-ass quadrifocals and I’m fairly certain he had a pen pouch thingy, too. Sure enough, he (as a sophomore) made it into my senior yearbook! I think his dad knew how to build nuclear weapons and his mom was a teacher at our school, so it didn’t surprise me that A.J. would go on to academic greatness at the expense of any kind of a hip and happenin’ social life. But.... it's dudes like him who are pulling in six and seven figure salaries these days, so who am I to knock him, right?

Waltham High also had Student Santa and to my credit, I brought in a gift and helped wrap many others in homeroom one fine day, but there was also some sort of event to cap everything off and, naturally, I wasn’t there. As socially lacking as I may have been back then, I still had enough heart to want to help underprivileged kids. As for the ladies, finding the courage to ask a female out to the prom was enough to deal with that I didn’t even bother attempting the Senior Social (…which for all intents and purposes was the same damn thing).

Then came something that actually looked like a lot of fun: The Senior Revue.

It entailed acting in skits and singing songs. These days, I absolutely love acting and I’m sure that I would have done fairly well even back then, but I knew nothing about this event until the day it was supposed to happen. Oh, well.

We also had a Teacher Appreciation Dinner, but I’m not losing any sleep over that one as I’m fairly certain that I’d miss that one even today. However, according to my yearbook, there was also a Senior Roller-skating Night at the old Wal-Lex rink (…since torn down). And I loved roller-skating, so why the f**k didn’t I go to this one?

Probably because I had no idea it even happened (…seems to be a pattern).

I don’t know what Dance Theater even was, but we had one of those as well. Then, there was the National Honor Society Induction Ceremony, which I actually attended because my sophomore friend, Ajay was one of the award recipients. He was yet another brilliant kid I used to know that soared above me in higher academia and was, no doubt, destined for great things.

The yearbook also had a few pics devoted to the Student Council and their year-end banquet. And no, I never bothered running for President, Vice-President, Secretary or Treasurer. Maybe if I could have done it all over again, I’d have tried out for President, just for the hell of it. Who knows? If I could bring my brains, life experience and slowly-cultivated personality back in time to 1992, I might have had a shot.

I was as good with a camera back in 1992 as I am today (which is to say I was pretty good), but it never even dawned on me to try and join the yearbook staff, either. Oh, and there was a Gong Show, too! Here’s another thing I’d have definitely tried out for if I could do everything over again. I don't know, it just seemed like a lot of fun and I'm sorry I missed it.

I didn’t bother with the Senior Dinner or the Scholarship and Awards Night (…I knew I hadn’t won anything), but thankfully, I DID make it to my prom and subsequent graduation, so I wasn’t a total dweeb. But by the time I got to prom, I really felt like a newbie. I had attended exactly one dance in my four years at Waltham High (...I think it was in my sophomore year) and with no extra curriculars on my schedule, prom was a rather big deal for me. It was my first real full-fledged social event and, to be honest, it felt kinda like crashing a high-tone party with unwashed, homeless clothes. Sure, I had my tux on, but looking the part didn't mean I felt the part.

I mean, had it not been for the Prom and actually attending Graduation, I’d have been 100% shut-out of everything! How the hell did I let this happen?

Well, given my attitude towards college at the time, I guess I shouldn’t be all that surprised that my high school activities were thin. I spent my entire senior year worrying about my dad and his battle with cancer (...a battle he lost shortly after I graduated). But I'm really not trying to use my dad as an excuse because I know I'd have been thin on extra-curriculars even if he were in perfect health.

As for college aspirations, I distinctly remember one day in my junior year English class. Our teacher asked, “By a show of hands, how many of you are planning on going to college.” I honestly think that mine was the only hand that didn’t go up. My folks just never talked about college.... at all. Most parents are talking about it before their child even enters high school. In my house, it just never came up. Maybe they figured they'd never be able to afford to send me, so why bother bringing it up? I honestly don't know.

Frankly, all I wanted to do was get out of high school and go to work. I'd had enough academics to last me a lifetime, so the thought of four more years of hell wasn't sittin' too well with me.

Remember in the movie The Breakfast Club where Bender (Judd Nelson) is ripping on high school clubs and activities? Well, that was pretty much me, minus the bad ass attitude and tough guy façade. Claire (Molly Ringwald) tells Bender that the reason why he doesn’t belong in any of those clubs is because he’s afraid that they won’t take him, hence the reason why he dumps all over them.

Thinking back, I honestly don’t know what the hell my problem was, but I’m thinking I might have thought a bit like Bender did. Amazing how things change, though. I’m thinking today as a 32 year old man who’s pretty much not afraid of anything or anybody. God, I wish I thought like that back in high school.

And, I could give less than a rat’s ass what people think of me.

It’s not even a defense mechanism as it was in high school. I just outgrew the angst, though I still remember it. I didn’t transform into a chick magnet since 1992, but I did lose all of the anxiety that goes with getting rejected. I know how to talk to women now and it really ain’t a big deal.

I honestly wish I could go back in time and just start digging in. Get involved with stuff, raise more money to get a full color picture in the yearbook…. and YES, date a few girls. Would I get shot down? Sure, probably… but if I asked out all of the girls I thought were hot at the time with my present outlook on life and accompanying attitude, I’m sure I’d get a few “yes” responses as well.

Hindsight, right?

I wandered the halls going from class-to-class, but I wasn't blind. I saw the camaraderie shared between the popular kids. I saw the heroes that made up our undefeated Waltham Hawks football team and how well they interacted with some of the hotter girls in our year and I got kinda bummed. I still have memories of walking by the lockers of our football elite, decorated with the school colors by the cheerleaders.

And somewhere deep inside of me, I wanted a piece of that glory, too.

Alas, I’m fairly certain I would never have attained it. After all, I was fairly skinny for a senior and didn’t start putting on any significant kind of muscle until after I graduated. I played basketball, but always preferred low-key pick-up games to the high-pressure games played in front of cheering and booing fans. My dad used to tell me to enjoy these years while I had them because they'd be gone before I knew it and I wouldn't want to look back with regrets.

Back then, I thought that just meant, "Don't slack off with your studies." Now I know that he also meant seizing the day and not letting opportunities pass me by.

So here I am in the year 2007 and I'm ready to seize the day. With this fifteen year high school reunion coming up, I’m looking forward to pretty much mingling with everybody and I'm sure I'll shock the sh*t out of most people when I do.

It won’t change who I was as a senior in high school, but who knows? Maybe I’ll score some "playdate-parent" friends for the benefit of my daughter who I’m hoping will make more of a mark in her school than I did in mine.