Kauan

Very early this morning, I awoke to the sound of my wife sobbing on the bed with her mother trying to console her. My heart almost stopped. Even in my groggy haze, I knew that something horrible must have happened and being the father of an infant girl, I feared the worst.

Kauan, my wife's cousin’s six month old son, had just passed away.

I don’t know exactly how his problems started except to say that his health seemingly hung in the balance from the very beginning. Kauan (pronounced: cow-WAN) had reached his ninth month in utero and though his mother, Jacqueline was feeling pain, the doctors in Brazil (where the parents reside) kept sending her home, saying that it wasn’t time. Apparently, they waited too long and, somehow, his overstay in the womb put a tremendous strain on Kauan’s heart. He was born with what I believe was a clogged artery. As a result, he needed to be kept content and at peace 24/7 as every moment of distress would cause Kauan to turn blue and continued stress would wind up killing him.

Also, doctors advised against any heart operations until the boy reached six months of age. As of late April, Kauan reached his sixth month and by the 25^th, he’d had his operation. Doctors found a second clogged artery which they repaired as best they could. Kauan spent the rest of his life under constant surveillance in an intensive care unit of the hospital. By the very early hours of this morning, however, Kauan’s heart stopped beating. Now, he’s gone and, as a parent of a five month old baby, I can’t even begin to imagine the pain that Jacqueline and her boyfriend (my wife’s cousin, Ivo) are having to endure.

We’ve been planning for our daughter’s first birthday party even before she was born and my wife had been preparing gift bags for all of the children who will be invited. How sad it was to see her, lachrymose and with Kauan’s tag in her hand as she removed it from the bag of nametags. And for purely selfish reasons, I’m also sad because Kauan was so close to my daughter’s age that I once felt so great knowing that Ariana would have a family member in Brazil who was virtually the exact same age as her. Knowing that Kauan’s path has ended and that he will not grow with Ariana just breaks my heart.

He died this morning at 2:45am and in just over twelve hours, he was buried. With as little faith as I have in American doctors, I have that much less in the ones in Brazil. The sad thing is that, if not for the incompetence of the doctors that kept sending Jacqueline home when Kauan needed to come out, he’d have probably been born perfectly healthy and would have avoided all of the health problems that led to his death.

Kauan didn’t go to the best heart hospital in São Paulo because it was too expensive, so he was admitted to a lesser renowned location. These were the people who scheduled Kauan’s heart operation and, almost at the last minute, they postponed it because they hadn’t thought to get an anesthesiologist to sedate him. Once he had his operation, the doctors inserted all kinds of tubes and hooked Kauan up to various machines that he’d need to survive the week that would follow.

A day or so after the operation, they noticed that his middle had become distended and it dawned on them that they’d forgotten to put a catheder in him so that he could expel urine. As if he hadn’t already suffered enough, he literally had to hold everything in him until their blunder was visibly evident. By this time, they had to pretty much make another hole to drain him out. In essence, another surgical procedure, albeit far less major. From what I understand, he was soon doing better so they removed all of Kauan’s tubes and connections. When his condition worsened last night, they opted to reinsert the waste tube which caused him so much pain that his already delicate heart couldn’t endure anymore. He literally and physically died from intense and unbearable pain.

I can’t speak for all parents, but if my daughter ever had to endure unnecessary pain for any reason, I’d just lose my f**king mind. At four months, she had her four vaccinations, but this set caused swelling and bruising on one of Ariana’s thighs. I raised all kinds of hell, trying to get answers as my daughter screamed in pain. And that wasn’t even the result of incompetence. If I ever found out that doctors forgot to do something for my girl which caused her immeasurable pain, I really think I’d wind up killing somebody.

I’m that nuts when it comes to my little girl.

All I can say is that Kauan will be sorely missed for so many reasons and it’s just such a heartbreaking shame to know that, had it not been for the ridiculously inept medical “care” that Kauan received, he’d still be with us today.

Rest in Peace, Kauan.